Call Me a Fuddy-Duddy

Do We Need A Double-Dose?

Let it never be said that I hadn’t warned you. I have listened to the discussion of Foster Friess’ remarks about “an aspirin between the knees,” and I am not offended, or even vaguely perturbed, and I don’t understand the fuss.  What Mr. Friess was suggesting in terms apparently no longer politically correct is that abstinence is the best form of contraception there has ever been.  You might not like his delivery, but can you argue with his point?  I realize the some believe I suffer from PCS (that’s: Premature Curmudgeon Syndrome,) but I have always acknowledged that I am an old-fashioned sort of guy.  I believe in abstaining until marriage, and I further believe that applies equally to both sexes.  I’m not one of those who views the nature of men as irretrievably primitive, but instead believe that what makes us human is the ability to choose in opposition to our primitive impulses.  In other words, you can call me a fuddy-duddy, and I’m fine with that description.  Apparently, I’m not alone, and there’s a new generation of fuddy-duddies coming along behind me.

Let me state for the record that I loathe shopping, and in fact, it would be correct to say that I never shop.  When I visit a retail outlet, I already know what I want before I arrive, and I carry it to the check-out where I pay and get the hell out of there.  I’m not a big fan of idle gawking, or perusing products just for the sake of burning time, but the other day I was in a retail outlet that had a bargain bin of DVDs and the bin was next to the stand featuring “New Releases.”  I fumbled around in the bin looking to see if I could find something worthwhile to add to my collection, but as usual, most of these are in the bargain bin for good reason.  As I was contemplating whether I wanted to buy a copy of The Longest Day, three young women were at the New Releases display to my right.  They were chit-chatting and as I weighed the benefits of competing war movie classics, I heard an interesting conversation ensue over a movie of which I’d never heard and the conversation turned briefly nasty.

The movie is titled What’s Your Number?  One of the young women was extolling the virtues of the film, while giving the others an overview of the story line.  She described it as the story of a woman looking for the love of her life she missed out on somehow, and that she was going back re-examining her last twenty relationships. At the very moment that in my mind, I was doing a mental face-palm, one of the other two young women let out a sound: “Eeeewwww. Twenty?  Slut…” She had her back to me, but I could see the faces of her two friends, who looked at her with derision and scorn as they fell silent, before one of these two rolled her eyes and mockingly spat: “Well, we can’t all be twenty-two-year-old virgins,” as the other of the two nodded in a sort of grim affirmation.  What came next was funny to me as I began to walk away, when the third young woman asked in response: “Can’t be? Ever hear of the word No?”

As I walked away with a smile in my brain, walking to the checkout with my new set of grilling utensils and a copy of the Don Knotts Reluctant Hero Pack, I pondered the exchange I had inadvertently witnessed.  This is symptomatic of our cultural battle.  Here was one young woman who apparently sees her virtue as, well, a virtue to be preserved.  Her two companions clearly had other views, and I wondered about the culture that had produced such distinctly different, and completely incompatible outlooks. That’s when it became more clear to me than ever that we are no longer a single, homogeneous culture, but at least two distinct ones with altogether different mores and values.  These two cultural views are very much at war, and clearly, the warfare is continuing into another generation, although the popular culture would never admit it, insisting the battle is won.

It’s fine.  I’m satisfied with being called a fuddy-duddy, or a curmudgeon, or whatever else people of that other culture would like to heap upon me as if it were an insult, but I’m not offended, and not the least bit put off by the characterizations of my views as such.  Folks can call me whatever they like, but I know what I believe, and I was gratified to know that there are still those who despite being of a younger, presumptively more promiscuous generation, adhere to values that speak highly of their respect for themselves, and the virtue that saying “no” represents.  Yes, I’m being judgmental again.


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33 Responses to Call Me a Fuddy-Duddy

  1. Don Dillon says:

    I'll fuddy and duddy right next to you, brother! Excellent article! If I had witnessed the exchange you did, however, I would have walked right over, offered my hand to the girl with virtue, and CONGRATULATED her on remaining resolute in a permissive society. Then I would have simply turned and walked away, leaving the other girls with their mouths gaping, I'm sure . . .

    • MarkAmerica says:

      See, what I know Don is that the other two would have taken that as further evidence of their friend being "out of step." She had a firm grasp on things, so I figured I'd just leave it be.

      • Don Dillon says:

        You underestimate yourself! You're assuming that the other girls would have seen you as a "fuddy duddy," but the truth is that young people WANT older people to lead and guide them, no matter what they SAY! In fact, the reason most kids who are in trouble ARE in trouble is BECAUSE they have no one to lead and guide them EXCEPT their peers, and they know in their hearts that their peers are NOT the best ones to go to for leadership or guidance! I'm the father of 10 kids, so I know a little about what I'm saying .

        • MarkAmerica says:

          Well Don, as the father of exactly one child, of the same general age-group of the three young women in my article, I know that some are, but some aren't, and they tend to fall along the same divide described by their conversation. I generally agree, however.

  2. jan says:

    You are not a fuddy/duddy. I believe the progressives made it o.k. in society to sleep with 20 people and not think anything of it. I believe that by ruining people's self-esteem they tend to make bad decisions. When you empower people to say no you bring up their self-esteem.

    Did you hear the latest. A friend of mine just returned from germany where she visited the concentration camps. They call it a "human event" similar to our soldiers in Iraq killing Iraqis. This was annihilation of people of a certain religion by their government. There is a huge difference. The Progressive culture is embedded everywhere and we need to start standing our ground. Being the Silent Majority is just digging us a hole that we may never get out of.

  3. Maggie LovesAmerica says:

    I am a fuddy duddy too Mark.. the aspirin worked too! Girls should be reminded.. once you go low and spread your legs you can #1 get pregnant and #2 become the talk of the class on what a slut you are and anyone can 'have' you. If for some reason one makes the decision to 'go all the way', then a pregnancy is likely to occur. What horrible choices these young babies have to make… only 3 mind you… 3 choices… #1 Keep the baby (babies raising babies with grandma's 100% help) #2 put the baby up for adoption which causes life long mental distress as you never forget you had a child and it's 'out there somewhere' never to be seen again and #3 abortion which is even a worse mental distress because everyday after that abortion you ask yourself, 'what if', 'could of' 'would of' and 'should of', but never getting the peace you need to move on. Choices 2 and 3 are the worst although, choice 2 the baby lives which is comfort to know you haven't sinned against God. But our Govt is pushing abortion, how sick is this??

    • Don Dillon says:

      It's VERY sick, Maggie, and I believe we are currently receiving God's just judgment for what we have allowed to happen not only here, but in other countries as well, through our taxpayer dollars "helping" women overseas obtain abortions (DON'T believe the government when they tell you this isn't happening, because there is OVERWHELMING evidence that it is indeed happening!)

  4. MaryL says:

    You ARE a fuddy duddy, Mark, and God bless you for it! We, who still believe in virtue, purity,, etc, are ALL fuddy duddies! I'm proud to be in the club beside you.
    This society will pay for its licentiousness; hell, we already are! God will not stay silent forever.

    • Don Dillon says:

      I see we are in agreement concerning God's judgment on this nation. It's such a shame, considering we started out with such HIGH ideals, and have now sunk as low as we have!

  5. Gail says:

    Can you imagine saying this to a liberal progressive, who as been taught all their life that , everything goes?
    Hosea 10:12
    Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the LORD, until he comes and showers righteousness on you.

  6. eyetooth tom says:

    It's a long, long time from May to December. I'm at November. You're at about June or July. Good luck to all. My older brother was born in '34 after seven months of marriage between dad and mom. A miracle I guess…Fuddy and Duddy was alive and well then as well. Those three are long gone now. Dad, mom and bro.
    But it happened then, and long before then. You ain't gonna stop with aspirin, knees, or pills.
    No sex is as common as no headaches. Pols maybe can outlaw it.
    Elect another Clinton.

    • MarkAmerica says:

      Tom, I'm not interested in laws in this matter. A little social pressure, definitely.

      • eyetooth tom says:

        Laws oh, my! Yes enough is enough about that. Social pressure was never greater than way back then as to my personal story. And they were all good folks. But it happens that way. Love is a many splendored thing, 63 years for Mom and Dad.
        Something else is missing. Cure that and headaches.

  7. Rogue Rose says:

    For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

    That's not to say I don't wholeheartedly agree with the principle and practice of individual responsibility and self-control.

    • eyetooth tom says:

      Shared your comment with coworker today Ephesians. She pointed out this defines problem…also continue reading following verses. Then she pointed out Isaiah 43 verse on as to the real One's answer and plan. Then on into 44 describes the left. Nurtured tree to partly provide fire for warmth and cooking flesh, partly to carve image of their god to worship (blind, deaf, satisfied, stupefied I guess by desire?) . Sure I'm not explaining too well, no preacher, just common folks a talking and taking note of all the wisdom offered to us.

  8. Xander says:

    Twenty-two year old curmudgeon here. I totally agree with you, Mark.

    I continually find myself perplexed over how many in my (and this coming) generation treat abstinence as a horrific soul-stripping, abominable fate. Never mind the fact that abstinence renders controversy over abortion moot, prevents spread of STDs, spares young men and women of inevitable emotional issues following the breakup of a physically intimate relationship, and increases the likelihood that children will be born into families that are prepared to take care of them.

    Only a completely separate culture, so estranged from the values of our fathers and their fathers before them, would promote forsaking virtue in favor of a carnal vice that brings more problems than its fleeting moments of pleasure can absolve. And now that culture masquerades itself as mainstream, being instilled into young minds at the educational level, and demonizing those who recognize its folly.

    A true testament to the destructive powers of liberalism.

    • dnr says:

      well said! Liberalism is not only a mental disease, it is a sin. Anything that glorifies the flesh is a sin against God.

    • MaryL says:

      YOU are a credit to your generation! I'm proud of you.

      • Xander says:

        Thank you! I'll have to pass a good chunk of that credit to my parents though, as I was pretty tough to raise. :)

    • MarkAmerica says:

      Xander, that's incredibly mature thinking for a 22yo. Congratulations! Seriously. Many people take decades to form those conclusions, if ever. Way to go, and welcome to the site!

      • Xander says:

        Thank you for the welcome, Mark. I've been reading your articles for a couple months now actually, and I felt this particular topic would make for a good first post.

        As for mature thinking, well, that's the only mature thing about me to be quite honest. Haven't completely put away childish things yet, but maybe I'll get there someday :)

        • MarkAmerica says:

          Look, I suspect we all have our childish things, Xander. I still catch myself daydreaming on occasion, and once in a long while, it even leads to a good idea. (Not all things of childhood are bad.) Please, by all means, feel free to join in more often, and that goes for the rest of you lurkers. I know you're out there! Again, welcome Xander, and I think I can safely speak for a few others when I say that I am glad you are here!

      • MaryL says:

        "Unless you become as little children…" We don't have to give up our joy and sense of fun to travel the right road. Xander, don't put yourself down; you might have been "tough to raise" but you certainly turned out magnificently. Welcome to the group. I look forward to more of your comments.

  9. mrfixit says:

    I too could not figure out what is so offensive… So I asked a woman – and I found out what it was.

    On the face of the comments there is nothing, but the offensive part is the insinuation that only women are somehow responsible for preventing an unwanted birth.

    The background that makes this offensive is decades of Feminism which has been selling directly and in subtle ways that women are oppressed, and men are oppressors. From that story line follows that they are pressured into having sex, by oppressor men of course.

    So by saying that women can just say no, offends some, because they’ve been raised to view themselves as oppressed and powerless.
    While it is true in some, maybe even many cases that women have been oppressed, it is not universally true, not now, not ever. But that does not fit the feminist mantra.

    Now you might start to see what the concern is. We have gone that far off the rails, and this is where many women are. I understand how they got there, and I acknowledge that our over sexualized culture actually creates its own pressures that add to this problem.
    But, what do the so called feminists do in all of this? They don’t stand up for women that say NO, instead the attempt to become the new oppressors! They want women to be as promiscuous and engaged in random sexual relations as they assume all men are, because it is somehow their turn.

    If you stand against this agenda, well you are a sexist of course, a bigot, whatever the personal attack of the day.

    At its roots this is to deny the very design differences between Men and Women. We are different in our bodies and that is just the way it is. The modern Feminist really longs to be a Man, and they deny the unique and special gifts they have, even trying to disparage other women that actually are feminine and care for their own children, and have loving husbands.

    To the modern Feminist the traditional qualities of women are inferior, and they celebrate masculinity.

    It is sick, and it leads to perpetual turmoil and discontent, because they attempt to be what they are not, this won’t change no matter how hard they try.

    This is the wedge and attempt that is being made to pit men against women, and the made up controversy here is to play into the election year dynamic to get women to support Obama and not any of the GOP alternatives, and the media of course complies as usual. If you look at voting demographics is suggest this is a viable strategy, and that is because this agenda has advanced that far and is deeply rooted in our society.

    Here is a story you’ll never see anywhere else, and it suggests the differences need to be considered for what they are, not be ignored, because it can be a life and death situation.

    • MarkAmerica says:

      Here's the contradiction, and the woman to whom you spoke will not likely address it if asked: She told you that it is offensive because it assumes all the responsibility is on the woman, but my question is this: Isn't that where all the authority rests, in civil society, and among civilized men? I ask this because if such an encounter results in an unwanted pregnancy, the woman retains all of the legal rights to choose as to the ultimate disposition. The man can neither force her to keep the child, nor force her to abort it. His authority is zero.

      As a long-standing principle of logic, authority and responsibility are two sides of the same coin, are they not? One cannot be held responsible where one has no authority, irrespective of the context. Conversely, where one has some authority, one also has responsibility. This has been the basis for for nearly every case in tort law for eons.

      How is it that the lady who has all authority, ultimately, in our system of laws has no responsibility, or any measure of it lesser than their authority?

      That's not intended to be a smart-alec's question, by the way.

      • Yes, a man to causes a woman to become pregnant has no rights. He can not force her to have an abortion or force her to have the child. The ultimate decision, obviously the total authoritity is the woman's.

        Though many will argue, it seems man's basic instinct is to procreate. (smile) among other things, but it is the woman who says yes or no. Same as "the girls" going to a club. It is understood that a man going to a bar might get hit on. But, a woman going to a bar can expect to be hit upon and puts herself into the position to say yes or no. Perhaps this is the power feminists want? This age of promiscusity still comes with responsibility. I do agree with the above post. There is too much out there to indiscrimately have sex. Besides, relational sex will leave much better memories… than to have to decide on childbirth or not, or, veneral diseases now becoming immune to medications, std's, herpies, and such maladies. Again, there is taking responsibility for your actions.

      • mrfixit says:

        Mark, You are 100% correct. I will ask, but it might cause me to be on the couch for a day or two! Anyhow, it is logic you and I are using, but we are up against emotionalism so to speak. We can hit it out of the park every time with logic, but the other side won’t see this at all. They’ve been so deeply indoctrinated.

        They will forever assume victim status even if in charge of it all and when they actually do have all the power. Just as you say, we currently give women the right to terminate the life of another human, to choose to conceive or not, and the man has no authority in any of those decisions, but there is legal recourse for the woman to try to be supported by the Man if she has the baby (and there should be in that case, by the way). So if the Man can be made responsible to provide care, then he also ought to have a say on the “choice” of abortion, but he does not and never will.

        Women have more power than ever, but they are often so conditioned to be victims, they don’t know the power they have, and as such a comment that should not be offensive, offends them because they assume it means they actually have control on the situation, and even though they do in most cases, they still don’t realize it. They continue to think they are victims. They don’t acknowledge the authority they have, unless you dare challenge it, then they might remember it!

        I have to say, many are victims, the societal pressures are extreme, and the cultural decay is so advanced. It is very hard for our young women to stay pure and not become part of the decline, and our collective acceptance of the garbage in entertainment and our lives is to blame for this. Young people are very impressionable, and once the corruption begins, it tends to grow and fester.

        This is where guys like Rick Santorum correctly see that our cultural decline is not separate from our societal economic collapse. Getting back to faith and family is the only cure, and it can’t happen in an instant. We need more Fuddy- Duddies out there, so keep up the good fight!

  10. I am old enough to remember when it was shameful for a girl to become pregnant and not be married.
    I am old enough to remember it was shameful for a girl to have sex before marriage (seems us guys can't keep our mouths shut).
    I am old enough to remember when it was shameful to stay home after you graduated.
    I am old enough to remember when it was shameful to be on welfare.
    I am old enough to remember when it was shameful to be on unemployment.
    I am old enough to remember when it was shameful to be on foodstamps.
    I am old enough to remember when it was shameful to have an abortion.
    I am old enough to remember when it was shameful to talk back to your parents.
    I am old enough to remember when it was shameful to talk back to your teacher. (some professors need arguementative discussions now)
    I am old enough to remember when it was shameful not to take responsibility for your actions….

    I am old enough….

  11. Mark, glad you have taken some time for yourself. Your postings slowed down last few days, though you have posted late, very late at night. (smile) Have a glass of wine and relax.. Many of us here tell everyone we know, too.

  12. stevethird says:

    I the colleges now
    call it Moral relativism. It is the new non-morality of the "post -modern" age. The only thing that it considers immoral is Being "judgmental" . So shame on you Mark. Don't bother to apply for any teaching positions in Psych-soc department of any college near you.

  13. sogmeister says:

    Great read, all. Recent 'Mark-meister' and liking it a lot. Maybe there is hope, without the change. ;-)